Umbrella
by Mo.joo
Summary: Struggles have always rained upon our lives. But it is in this life that we become each other's umbrella. "Fists clenched the earth as he tried to hold himself down. The hand on his shoulder squeezed so tightly that Kakashi hoped that the young boy would never let go." Join Kakashi and Naruto as they discover what living truly means. KakaNaru. SlightAU.
1. Umbrella

** Umbrella**

**The rain **that poured onto the streets of Konoha came soft and easy. A gentle shower that caressed the trees who harbored the leaves that hid their village, the grey horses that thundered across the sky in their herds, the cold wind that pushed the soft patter back and forth—it seemed as though Kami wanted a sadness to go down on earth. Slow, sweet, bitter.

Like the rain that spread across Hatake Kakashi's face as he looked down at the stone before him. His grey eye skimmed the list of names on the memorial, his nose smelling the wet aroma of death as he pictured the face around each name—what they looked like before they had died—until he found the names that he knew so well, and Kakashi didn't have to imagine. He knew what their faces looked like upon death. He was there to witness it first hand.

Kakashi lifted his hitai-ate. The scarred eye opened slowly and dark light swarmed its vision after being hidden in the dark for so long. The Sharingan and Kakashi looked down at the names that they knew so well, and as Kakashi lowered himself, the Sharingan began to weep for its master.

Or at least tried to.

The gentle, slow patter suddenly grew to become loud and restless. The rain struck down on Kakashi's mask, stinging the skin underneath with each harsh drop. It drenched the Copy-nin's hair, plastering it so uncomfortably against his head in a spiking coldness. It washed away the escaping tears that fell from the Sharingan eye, covering the hot salty droplets in a cool wetness.

Kakashi closed his eyes and sighed deeply. His gloved finger reached out to stroke the engraved lines of Obito's name.

He failed as a friend even to this day. He couldn't even let Obito's own tears run down for him.

The fingers moved on to more familiar names.

"Rin, Sensei, Sandaime, Asuma…"

Kakashi wanted to cry, but he didn't; or rather, he couldn't. The years of holding back finally caught up to him. Not once—not even for a _little bit_—did he allow himself to cry in the past. Not when he was with friends, not even when he was alone by himself in that dusty house that belonged to his family. And now, when he wanted to cry the most, his eyes wouldn't let him, the years of restraint too firmly on hold.

_This was his fault. All his fault._

He clutched the knee that was pressed against him. The other kneeling on the sodden grass as he rocked back and forth, trying so desperately to let the Sharingan cry. But the damn rain wouldn't let him. It wouldn't allow him because it was some goddamn unwritten rule that Hatake Kakashi couldn't weep even when the tears weren't his. It shook him to his very core.

_Cold. It was so cold._

Why couldn't he be human like the rest of them? Why couldn't he be allowed to cry and sob like a temperamental spoiled brat? Why couldn't he just let it go?

Above him, the rain stopped hailing.

The Copy-nin sighed and wrapped his arms around himself as his knee finally joined the other in the muddy ground. He opened his tightly screwed eyes, only to have realized that the rain had not stopped. Its shower thundered through his ears in the cold howling wind. Kakashi could still feel the wetness that escaped here and there, splashing onto him, trying to reach him under his shelter. The shinobi raised his head and looked wildly around him. The rain continued, but it was unable to touch him now. The pitter-patter above him crashed wildly as nature's wrath raged on. He looked up.

And the sun shone.

It was bright against the Sharingan eye—bright for even his own eye. Kakashi blinked rapidly for a few short moments before realizing that the brightness was actually blonde hair. It took him several long minutes before realizing that the blonde hair was Naruto.

Naruto only smiled softly at him—that smile so strangely alien on his usually obnoxiously grinning face—as he shifted the umbrella he held more over towards Kakashi.

The umbrella that he held was far from a decent excuse for shelter. It was tattered and worn, obviously a sign of abuse and overuse. The skeletal brackets that held it together hung loosely over the edge dangerously, limp and broken; tape struggled to bind the brackets back together but to no avail. The small holes poked everywhere; occasionally a large tear or hole gaped at one of the flaps. The rain still poured in, but Naruto managed to make it so that the most preserved parts of the umbrella were sheltered over Kakashi.

The older shinobi quickly opened his mouth to speak but quickly snapped his jaw shut when a hand—a hand that he didn't even know was there—squeezed his shoulder tightly. Tightly, as if Naruto was trying to squeeze the tears out of him. Mismatched eyes met soft blue, and Kakashi once again turned his head at the names, his will flittering—he wanted to be in the clouds with them so much…so, so much. Fists clenched the earth as he tried to hold himself down. The hand on his shoulder squeezed so tightly that Kakashi hoped that the young boy would never let go.

And finally—_finally—_the Sharingan and Kakashi let their tears be their own again.

* * *

><p>AN: Hello! Mo here.

I'd like to say, first and foremost, thank you for reading the first chapter of my "Umbrella" series! To you tell the truth, I had written this some time ago, but today I finally decided that I would share this with you. It's my own take on the Kakanaru pairing. This is one of my most favorite pairings. Possibly the most favorite (I would have to decide between GinIzu from Bleach and this one). Although I have many more chapters I'd like to post, this will be...a test [?] chapter (if that's what you call it...). It will be one of the few that I will be posting tonight. I hope that you'll look forward to reading the rest!

Here are some warnings:

I will most likely post at awkward intervals at times, but please bear with me! I have planned many things for this series.

There is also mention of some OCs, but no CharacterxOC pairings. I feel that these people that I have created will bring more emphasis on the emotions that I'm trying to create so please look forward to them!

There will be OOC sections in many of the characters. Also, the storyline will seem a bit awkward because there is no set plot to the story. However, I assure you, all chapters are connected and are in chronological order.

I MIGHT'VE tweaked some things in the Naruto Universe as I was writing this. I'm not actually sure. Please forgive me if I do. (I do you no justice Kishimoto-san T.T *bows deeply*)

Also...this is yaoi. If you don't like it or are uncomfortable with it, please don't read. I apologize for any discomfort that my words have inflicted upon you, but I did warn you in my bio (if you haven't read it, please do.)

ありがとうございます！Thank you!

Mo

It's already 11:00PM and I STILL haven't done my homework yet...Looks like this person is going to have stay up PRETTY LATE (nuuuu~ my beauty sleep T.T)

Update 02/23/14: Grammar Corrections


	2. Rent

**Rent**

**"And don't even think** about coming back in there without my money!"

Naruto tasted the ground before he even realized it was ground. The hard gravel cut into his chin as he slid face first down the stairs after the landlady grabbed his collar surprisingly easily and pushed him down the stairs. He righted himself immediately, pushed himself off the ground, stubbornly refusing to give in even when his palms stung like crazy.

"C'mon lady!" He cried out to the open the door of the old hag that threw him out with such ease, with no remorse "Just give me a week! I'll have your fucking money by then!"

The wrinkly bag snorted and stomped over to the railing to spit at his feet before throwing the very few possessions that he had left (which included two days worth of clothes, his backpack, some scrolls, and weapons) onto the dirt beside him.

"I won't have brats like you loiter around in my apartment, disturbing my tenants, and not pay me when rent is due. I've had enough of you, prick. Now get out of my sight!" she then stomped over to her door again, slamming the door behind her.

Naruto flinched. The hag was always so bossy, always up in his business; always blaming him for any trouble that went down in the apartment building like his presence was some kind of dark omen for her. She was a bitch, a really fat one. But he still felt himself flinch.

Once the string of curses were muttered at her door and done for, Naruto looked down at the clothes strewn on his foot and sighed, reaching down to pick it up, moving to another spot to swipe his meager belongings from the dirt. He merely stuffed them into his mission backpack, slinging that over his shoulders, and walked down the empty street.

_Okay, now what?_

Slowly, the empty street became an occupied one. Its dirt road let a steady flow of pedestrians fill through. They walked on the sides, leaving a large gap stretching out, for the occasional merchant cart to pull through the dirt road. Naruto merely followed suite.

As he looked at the dim signs passing above him, the young blonde shinobi laid out his options before him.

Naruto read the large symbols of an inn that claimed vacancy. He considered renting a room for him to sleep, just until he could find a temporary place to live in. After all, he was sixteen and perfectly capable of staying in an inn without any suspicion, considering the fact he was also a ninja. But, Naruto grimaced at the memories that surfaced the last time he had tried to get a room in one of the many lone inns near Konoha during one of the solo missions he was assigned to. The innkeeper was a shriveled old man who threw a fit when he saw the sight of the blonde, recognizing him as jinchuuriki. Practically threw him right out the window.

Naruto shook his head, furiously throwing the idea out of his mind, crumpling it up, and tossed it into the street.

He pondered over the possibilities again. There was always one of the Rookie Nine plus Team Gai and Sai who could take him in. After all, one of them had to be bound to spare room for him if he begged well enough. And the blonde was one who could throw a good begging fit when he needed to. Naruto thought deeply and thoroughly, going to through the list of eleven.

The first to come into mind was Kiba. He was a nice enough guy. Not easy to get along with when it came down to him and Naruto—but a nice enough guy. To Naruto, he seemed the easiest to get along with out of the lot of them.

A nose scrunched at the thought of the constant smell of dog that would reek all over his body when he woke up in the morning. The young shinobi had forgotten: the boy and his dog _never _separated.

Naruto merely shrugged to himself. He walked on to the busier side of town. The smell of meat wafted through his nose as he passed by a barbeque restaurant. It led to the thought of Choji, the always flamboyantly eating ninja.

It seemed like a good idea at first. But in the end, Naruto thought with a heavy sigh, he could never stand the constant munching for more than one day.

Naruto could feel his heart sink in dread and hopelessness as he went down the list.

Shikamaru?

The Nara would probably only complain. Troublesome.

Shino?

Damn bugs…

Neji.

The Hyuuga clan always stuck up their noses at the sight of him. Neji, being such a royal pain in the ass, would probably be the very first one. Plus, there was Hinata. Naruto had known of the girl's old crush for six months now, and that was after she had finally given up on him and moved on to date Kiba. Living with Neji also meant living with her and getting a broken nose from the Inuzuka as well as a bite to the ass from Akamaru.

Naruto definitely didn't want that.

So…Lee

God! That guy would probably use him as a punching bag in his sleep! And those ridiculous jumpsuits that he still wore even after all these years…no way was Naruto going to live with that lunatic!

Sasu—

Nope. Nuh-uh. No fucking way. Naruto swore that he would have had to live in the forest, grow a beard, and fucking drink lemons before he would ask Sasuke for room and board. The blonde shuddered to even think of the ludicrous thought.

He pondered over the thought of asking one of the kunoichi before swiping from his mind completely. Ino would completely shut the door on him even before had a chance to say anything. Tenten would probably throw one of her many weapons at him. Sakura—Naruto shuddered at what she would do if he even _did_ mention it.

Hinata?

Didn't he already go over that?

There was only a string of what he called hope as he crossed out the last name he had in that list. That string broke quickly at the sound of a thunderous grumbling originating from the roars of his stomach.

Naruto frowned as he dug into his pocket, scrambling to find what remained of his money. He took out a few wads of yen. The shinobi had gotten rid of Gama-chan long ago since it bore a hole between its legs due to the overuse during a time when heavy coins filled its brim. He had been meaning to get a new one, but just never had the time

He looked down at his hand and found his lips twitching in a soft smile. He didn't have enough money for rent, but there was more than enough for a few bowls of ramen. Naruto looked up and rushed forward to Ichiraku, where he knew he would always be welcomed.


	3. Stay with Me?

**Stay with me?**

**"What's wrong Naruto-kun?"** Ayame leaned over the counter to peer at the blonde shinobi's face that was hung over the brim of his bowl "You've barely even touched your second bowl."

"Nee-chan," he lifted his elbows from the table for the young woman to wipe down "I'm sorta in trouble."

The ramen owner leaned over his workspace of boiling broth and steaming noodles, "What kind of trouble?"

Naruto sighed, lifting a cold noodle and gingerly placed it between his lips before letting a small slurp escape him, and sighed again, "The landlady in my apartment—in my _old_ apartment—threw me out. She won't let me in without rent money."

"Oh, I see. That is pretty troublesome."

"Yeah, so now I don't really have a place to go."

"Who doesn't have a place to go?"

Naruto froze at the presence that breezed beside him, taking its seat on the stool directly on his right. He looked up and met the curious glint from the eye of Kakashi no Sharingan.

"Kakashi-sensei," he returned to the bowl, mumbling.

"Naruto," Kakashi greeted back.

"Ah, Kakashi-san," Ayame bowed "What would you like today?"

Kakashi shook his head, "Nothing for me, Ayame-chan. I was just walking by when I heard a little bird chirping as it was kicked out of its nest."

Naruto grunted and grimaced as he swooped down on a waterfall of noodles.

"So what's this I hear about having no place to go, Naruto?"

The blonde mumbled, "What else? I got kicked out without anywhere to stay. What more is there to it?"

"Hmm," the silver-haired jounin mused "Did you think about asking Iruka? He's always one to welcome you."

"Yeah," said Naruto as he finally finished the last of the broth and set the bowl down for Ayame to pick up, shaking his head when she offered him another bowl "Already thought about it. He's already busy enough with the Academy. Plus, Genma just moved in with him. I'll just be in the way."

Kakashi again 'hmmed' and leaned his elbow against the table, earning a small frown from the ramen shop daughter. His single eye fully concentrated on the blonde.

Naruto placed his hands on his lap, unknowing what more to say when the stare intensified under his skin. He tugged at a stray string from the sleeve of his coat, uneasiness creeping on him like humid heat weighing him down.

"Anyways, I figured I could toughen up and sleep on the streets for one night and tomorrow ask Baa-chan if she knows any other place I can stay."

Kakashi huffed and straightened himself, shifting the mask higher onto his face in old habit "Well, unfortunately for you, the Hokage left for a meeting with the Mizukage in the Land of Water. She won't be back until next week. I highly doubt that you can handle yourself on the streets for one week."

Naruto shrugged, unsure of himself. Kakashi, too, remained quiet.

The silence poured over them like a steady rainfall. It felt heavy on Naruto's tongue, which frustrated him as he was one who loathed the silence and was unable to stay quiet for more than five seconds. Kakashi on the other hand, merely observed the young blonde, slightly amused with a mouth twisted cutely to continue the silence that threw itself back and forth against them.

"I have an idea," the jounin suddenly said, "You can stay with me until Tsunade-hime comes back."

Naruto looked up at Kakashi and blinked. Once; twice; three times before the words finally registered into his brain. His cobalt eyes widened and a small 'o' formed on his lips.

"Eh? Seriously?"

"Yes," the jounin smiled under his mask, letting a small happy crescent form on his eye "Why not?"

"Wow sensei!" he stood and pumped his fist into the air excitedly and cried, "You're the best!" before racing off into the direction he presumed to be Kakashi's house.

"Naruto!" said owner of the house called out after him, "You forgot your things! And you forgot to pay!" he lifted the bag. But the jounin found that Naruto had forgotten the bag as he jumped into the air.

With a sigh of amused defeat, Kakashi grinned and turned to lay the yen into Ayame's hand before sauntering off in the direction Naruto had run. Ayame watched as the last of silver hair disappeared around the corner after the blonde.

"Papa, I have a feeling good things are going to come to Naruto-kun from now on."

* * *

><p>AN: Hello! Mo here.

I guess I didn't do a good job in explaining why Naruto was looked so down when Kakashi came into scene. I made it so that there was this awkwardness between Naruto and Kakashi (mostly Naruto) because Naruto is on the verge of having these feelings for Kakashi, while Kakashi has always liked Naruto. But enough of about that here. On to the next chapter!


	4. Like

**Like**

**The first time **Naruto realizes that he likes Kakashi is when the jounin steps out of the shower, clad in nothing but a towel.

Naruto realizes, with wide eyes, that he's watching a broken Adonis step out of mist: his pale, scarred skin stretches out over defined abdomens; his body seems to be sculpted out of the stone. Naruto's eyes follow Kakashi's footsteps on their own; they graze over his body one more time before looking up to watch his hands pressing a towel against his face. Naruto finds himself admiring the way the muscles and bones on Kakashi's back dance every time he reaches up to dry his hair and then come back down again to pat his face clear of water.

And when Kakashi turns around to look at Naruto behind his towel clad face, the blonde practically runs the other way he came.

Naruto tells himself: _I just want the muscles that sensei has_

When they sit on the couch together to read, Naruto finds himself peering at silver-haired man as often as he can. He likes the way Kakashi sits comfortably next to him, little orange book in his hand, knees press loosely against his body, and elbow propped on the armrest with his head resting against his fist.

And when Naruto comes to, the heat is already burning his ears.

Kakashi knows that he likes Naruto when he sees the blonde curled up on the couch. The scroll lays forgotten on the floor, his legs tucked under him, and his face is hidden in his arms that rest on the armrest. He chuckles at the small snores that escape from the nest of arms and bright blonde hair.

Naruto always feels warm when Kakashi picks him up. The jounin is surprised by how light the boy is, like his bones are hollow and his muscles are full of air, despite all that ramen. Kakashi can feel his skin prickle as Naruto curls his arms loosely around the pale neck, fingertips feathering against the fine hairs. His heart beats so wildly as a cheek cuddles against his chest, the organ is ready to explode. The older man always fears that Naruto will wake up to the heavy drumming beating on his chest.

When he lays the blonde on his bed, a pout gives out on Naruto's lips and he curls tighter around himself. Kakashi chuckles slightly. He finds it endearing when the boy snuggles his way closer to the older man when he sits at the edge of the bed.

Before Kakashi realizes it, his hand reaches out to brush blonde locks away from the young genin's face. He reminisces the time when Naruto was such a hyperactive, bouncing boy. The chubbiness from Naruto's baby-face is long gone now, replaced with high cheekbones, prominent nose, thin lips. Just like his father.

Kakashi pulls away when he feels his fingers linger on those lips.

He quickly realizes that this is his late sensei's son. Fourteen years his junior. His student. And he clenches his fists to restrain himself from forbidden thoughts.

_God, _it's so hard to resist. Everything that Naruto does, everywhere he is; for every moment he _exists_—Kakashi is falling deeper and deeper. He looks over at Naruto and the crease between his brows, the frown on his lips when the boy feels the heat go away.

So deep.

Kakashi, before he can do anything more without his mind's consent, goes to the door that separates them.

"Good night, Naruto"

The door clicks shut.

* * *

><p>AN: This is will be the last of the chapters for tonight. I will most more one week from today! Meanwhile, please rate and review! I would love to hear your feedback!

And even if you didn't rate/review I'm still so appreciative to you because you took the time to read this story of mine. (Okay I'm trying to guilt trip you, but it's not really working is it?)

Good night my fellow fanfiction readers!

Mo


	5. Lazy Days

**Lazy Day**

**It happened on** a lazy day. The windows were open at awkward spaces. The beds were empty and unmade. The hallway was dim, only to be lit at random intervals by the open doors that lay adjacent. Even then, the light was dusky and washed. If you looked closely enough, you could see the dust that danced about in the light. It twirled and tumbled to no end. The dust was swept away by the breeze that crawled through the open windows. It passed the open-closed doors, into the sleeping kitchen.

The kitchen was filled with drowsy slumber. The stove finally rested after moments of relentless work. It's surface barely held heat now, even though a single pot lay waiting to be warmed. The dishes sat neatly, yet unfinished, in the sink. Water from the faucet dripped quietly to fill the dirty bowl, brimming with water underneath. On the edge, two cups stood side by side, one emptied of coffee to the grainy bitter bits that often hid at the bottom and the other halfway filled with milk as if its drinker had no desire to finish it.

Naruto laid out on the carpet in the living room that was adjacent from the kitchen. He spread out languidly on his stomach, propped up by his elbows and his ankles crossing each other to rest on the couch seat above him. He was unusually quiet today: his eyes blinked blankly at the television screen as his thumb pressed down upon the arrow-like button in a dull mantra. His other hand supported his head as he furrowed his eyebrows and curled his lips together into a thin line.

It had been nearly three weeks since he first moved in with Kakashi. By then, the Hokage returned from her business with the Mizukage. And by that time, Naruto was more than ready to ask her to mandate a new place for him to stay. He just knew he had to get out of Kakashi's house before the bubbling sensation he felt susceptible to whenever the jounin was around grew worse. He rushed to Tsunade's office as soon as he heard the news that she was back in Konoha. He was so prepared to grovel and beg for a new empty apartment to stay in.

But no matter how hard he groveled and begged she would not use her authority for his pleas.

_"__Please Baa-chan!" Naruto's fists curled at his sides, and he took another step towards the Hokage who frowned from where she sat "I'm begging you here!"_

_"__I'm sorry Naruto," the Hokage shook her head "I want to help you, brat—I really do—but I can't just use my powers as Hokage to get you a new place. That would be unfair to all the other villagers."_

_"__The Sandaime didn't have a problem with it. Besides, I'm not asking for a house. Just an apartment—or any place would do."_

_"__I'm not the old man," she said "I don't understand why you can't just look for an empty apartment. There are plenty around Konoha."_

_"__Believe me, I've _tried," _Naruto paced around the small office. Tsunade merely crossed her arms, irritated at the fact that now she had to watch him move around aimlessly "But the places that I've been to that are decent enough, have either demanded an initial fee—which I don't have—or have kicked me out because of what I am. They'd shit rocks before they would let me in."_

_She stared at him in confusion. "What you—"then Tsunade's eyes widened at realization. Her mouth made a small 'o'._

_"__Yeah," finally, the blonde stopped in front of her "So can you please help me out?"_

_She stared at him again, long and hard. Naruto stared back. She just had to give him a place to stay. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand being near Kakashi in his apartment, smelling his scent everywhere, feeling his chakra crawling all over his body like a lover. Naruto nearly doubled over at the thought and pushed the mental image of Kakashi wrapping his strong arms around him to the very back of his empty mind. Instead, he concentrated on Tsunade's stare game. Her caked face was stone and showed no sign of emotion when he pleaded to her with his eyes. Naruto even gave a small pout, for that always worked when he was young._

_"__No, Naruto," she said, never breaking her hard stare, "I cannot help you find a new home using my authority as Hokage. You, of all people, should know that."_

_The boy gave out an exasperated sigh and hung his head. Who was he kidding? Baa-chan was right; it would be unfair to everyone if she ever gave him a place to live as the Hokage. There would complaints all over the place. Anger towards the jinchuuriki would increase, and rumors would spread. The villagers who already hated and feared him would probably say something along the lines of him threatening to destroy the village again lest the Hokage gave him a place of comfort._

_"__But," he lifted his head to face the Godaime, "I can give you missions to save up for a new apartment."_

_"__Are any of them worth fifty thousand ryo?" He couldn't help but ask in sarcasm. Normally, the average fee would cost twenty thousand for an average apartment. But since the landlords knew that he was jinchuuriki, they increased the amount sufficient just for his sake._

_"__Tch," Tsunade gave a disgusted snort "Brat, don't mock me. C-rank missions aren't all that available around this time, since everyone before you got to them. B to S-rank missions I am saving for the jounin exclusively, so don't even bother to ask. So that leaves D-rank missions."_

_Naruto could literally feel the floor under his dropped jaw._

_"__You're not serious."_

_Tsunade grabbed a file from the tower that sat beside her desk, flipping through it she announced, "Hasagawa's bath house needs someone to install the new plumbing system. I'm leaving you to it. Tomorrow morning, be there at six-hundred hours sharp."_

_Naruto opened his mouth to retort, to whine, but then closed it and merely nodded. What use was there in complaining? In truth, he was appreciative of the help that Tsunade was giving him within her limits. There was only so much that he could ask._

_"__Alright. Sorry for being the gaki you love. Thanks Baa-chan," Naruto gave a small genuine smile and turned to walk to the door._

_"__Who are you living with?" Baa-chan suddenly asked._

_Almost immediately, he reeled around to face her. Naruto stopped midway, not wanting Tsunade to see through his sudden panic. He looked over his shoulder and to her curious face hidden behind her clasped hands._

_"__Kakashi-sensei," he drawled out slowly to keep him from stuttering like a damned fool "I'm staying with Kakashi-sensei."_

_Then he bolted, too aware of the burning rush of blood to his ears._

Naruto groaned with a heavy heart as he flipped himself over on his back to watch the colors dance around again. A chef appeared on the screen apparently throwing around ingredients to make whatever meal he planned. The color and vibrancy of the vegetables brought a growl to his stomach. It continued to snarl as Naruto calmed the beast with a rub of his hand. He thought about changing the channel but felt too lethargic to do so. It felt too much work to lift his finger, and so, he left the color there, watching the contrast of bright flame and dark metal bring out a hunger in him. He imagined the smell of the meal, making his mouth water.

The hearty meal the televised chef was preparing smelled a lot like ramen…

The jingle of keys and turn of a lock was enough to distract Naruto's hunger. His head turned towards the opening door as Kakashi entered through, back pushing the door open while one of his hands brought the perverted orange booklet to his face and the other held a plastic bag.

"Hi, sensei," Naruto greeted from the cool carpet floor, feeling too lazy to go up to greet the shinobi "Welcome home."

"It's good to be back," Kakashi called out, too absorbed in his latest venture within Icha Icha Paradise to pay attention to the lack of manner the blonde had greeted him with.

By being too absorbed, Kakashi nearly failed to realize that Naruto was actually home for once. Usually, when the jounin came home around this time, Naruto would be gone, either out to train or to eat. He almost didn't look up to see the young ninja sprawled out on his back, legs resting on the seat of the sofa, and tilted his head in an uncomfortable position to watch a cooking program with his mouth hung open. Kakashi smirked and pocketed the book in his vest.

"Naruto,"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you watching TV _upside down_?"

There came a shrug and a small sound that sounded along the lines of "Idon'tknow."

"Your day off?" Kakashi wondered aloud.

"Yeah," Naruto answered. "Yours?"

"Yup," Kakashi lifted the bag he held. Naruto turned at the sound of rustling plastic. "Did you eat yet?"

"No." In cue of the blonde's answer came a loud, whining growl. Naruto placed a hand on his stomach and felt his ears turn hot. He looked away from the older man to hide the embarrassment of his truthful answer.

Kakashi only gave out a small chuckle and walked over to the couch to sit next to the spot where Naruto rested his legs. In an immediate response Naruto pulled back and righted himself in a seated position. Kakashi, at the same beat, pulled over the small coffee table that sat a little off to the side just in front of Naruto. Naruto watched warily as the jounin pulled out the contents within the bag out in front of him. His mouth watered at the aroma of miso ramen.

"I thought you wouldn't," Kakashi said as he took out a second bowl "so I brought you some ramen."

"This isn't your food?" asked the genin, already picking up the wooden utensils that sat on top of the bowl.

"I've already eaten my fill," Kakashi reassured the blonde who looked up at him, smiling as he rubbed his stomach in a gesture that he knew would satisfy Naruto. He then reached down to pick up the remote beside the blonde to change the channel to the laughter and comedy of a reality game show.

Naruto gave him a small smile in return before returning to the bowl. He broke the bonded chopsticks into two and clapped his hands together.

"Thanks for the food!" he happily chirped. Kakashi could only chuckle.

They sat in a comfortable silence between them. It was filled with the laughter of an audience and the cheesy, comical sound effects of the game show. The wind blew quietly their way and cooled the mild warmth within the unlit room. Naruto, instead of devouring the bowl in his signature frenzy, simply ate at a steady pace, stopping to laugh at the bright colors and the silly antics of the game-show hosts. Kakashi shrugged off his vest, leaving his novel at pause, and chuckled at the content of the television screen.

Perhaps it was the warm day or the cool breeze. Perhaps it was the fact that they both had a day off. Or maybe it was just one of those lazy days. But both Kakashi and Naruto found themselves content with the moment. Its calm pause within their frantic, violent lives brought out an inner peace within them. The company of the other was familiar and soothing. And within that single afternoon with the television screen, both jounin and genin thought that they'd spend it with no one other than each other.

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><p>AN: Hello! Mo here!

First, I'd like to apologize for my absence. I know I had promised a new chapter...five months ago...but life got in the way. I prioritize school work and badminton training before anything else. There was also the problem of my lack of muse for this story. It looks like I've fallen victim to a familiar pattern of writer's block...

But! I pulled though and am giving you this piece of work.

It's not really my best work, nor does it really move the story plot along...but hey, it's something. I did my best to finish this chapter and so I did.

Also, thank you to all who are reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following! Much of it is appreciated! Please continue to review! review! review!

I hope to give you another chapter next week, or even sooner!

Mo

Update 08/4/2014: Corrected spelling mistakes and rewording.


	6. A Little Something Extra

_Tsunade watched as the young blonde ran out the door, as if something bit him on the ass and chased him outside. She gazed around her empty office._

_Kakashi_

_It came like a click of a switch. Tsunade smirked when she finally understood._

_The Godaime leaned back into her chair. She turned her head to face the window, where she found Naruto still running. Tsunade's smirk gradually grew into a wide grin._

_She'd call Jiraiya tonight. They had a new bet to wager._

_Only this time, she knew that she would win._

* * *

><p>AN: Although Tsunade gets paranoid whenever she wins, I'd like to think that she should sometimes be able to win in complete confidence.

Mo.


	7. Message

**Message**

**Yukigakure, in Kakashi's opinion**, had the most brutal weather in elemental nations. Its unpredictable storms brought shinobi and kunoichi alike the utmost grief on the easiest of missions. He hated the way the hail bit at his exposed skin and the skin underneath the several layers he wore. Kakashi especially hated it when the snow froze his mask. Even though he was thankful he always had more than one layer on, the stiffness brought a kind soreness to his jaw that irritated him to no end.

So it was neither surprise nor regret when Kakashi no Sharingan threw open the door of the inn he frequented during his missions to the Land of Snow. Tenzo followed quietly suite.

Their mission was simple enough for a B-class mission: to take a classified document from a lord from a neighboring city in the Land of Fire to the daimyo of the Land of Snow. Tsunade reluctantly paired the ex-ANBU together per the lord's request.

The route of the delivery was nothing but genin-play. A few bandits unprepared to take on two fully equipped shinobi, some hotshot rogues, and a _damn _caravan that blocked the road until Kakashi blew away the fallen tree with a wind-type jutsu. When they reached the daimyo, the bastard stuffed his face right in front of them, had a servant receive the document, and waved his hand to shoo them on their merry way. Kakashi didn't find it such a surprising behavior for a daimyo that had nothing to do, but it ticked him off nonetheless. And to top it all off, a _fucking blizzard _blew right into their path, forcing the two shinobi to seek shelter in the only inn Yukigakure had to offer.

So, given the circumstances, Kakashi had the right to enter the way he did. He marched right to the front desk and merely opened his hand for the innkeeper (a sweet old lady that fell victim to his mood) to place the key in. In the haste only a ninja could bear, he snatched the key right when she reach out her hand and stormed off. Tenzo merely followed, bowed to her, and sympathetically smiled.

The innkeeper, used to such attitudes, merely jerked her thumb in the direction the copy-ninja had headed, "What's wrong with your friend?"

Tenzo sighed and shook his head, "He hates the snow."

The innkeeper merely stared at the shinobi, her eyes accusing him of insanity, before she gave out a hearty laugh. Tenzo couldn't help but smile at the life she projected in her voice. She took another key from her shelf and placed it in the shinobi's open hand.

"So do I," she winked "but I guess some have it worse."

As she walked away, Tenzo turned his head in the direction of his senpai's room. He frowned. The shinobi had no desire to travel with Kakashi if his mood continued to dampen the atmosphere. He rarely ever saw Kakashi come to an irritable mood, and snow seemed like a pretty poor excuse for his behavior. Tenzo placed a hand in his pocket. He felt the smooth, cold surface of paper brush against his skin. Tenzo suddenly broke into a grin. He knew what would make his senpai feel better.

* * *

><p>Kakashi gave out a sigh as he found himself reading the same line for the fifth time. Even Icha Icha Violence proved to be a failed attempt in distracting him from his foul demeanor. The wind outside was too loud, the flame too dark, the room too warm—even his itchy bed sheets were a distraction. He sighed again and placed the novel down. A few moments later, Kakashi felt the presence of his companion a few steps away from the door.<p>

"What is it Tenzo?" he said, skimming through the pages he had already read before the other shinobi had a chance it make his presence unknown.

There was the sound of paper sliding across the floor. "Message for you, Senpai."

Kakashi looked up. Sure enough there was an envelope lying just at the foot of his door. He laid his book down and walked over. When he picked up, he turned it over, searching for a signature. The back of his mind muttered out his annoyance if Tenzo was sending him the check for the rooms or if it was a trap sent by the enemy. But the letter didn't seem present an essence of threat. Instead, what was written in front of the letter in crooked writing was his name. Innocent curiosity took hold of Kakashi as he pulled open the paper and unfolded it to reveal the content within.

_Hi Kakashi-sensei!_

_Just so you know, I don't normally do this. I was with Sakura and she was writing a letter to Lee. I didn't really have anything to do so I decided to write a letter to you! I don't know where you'll be for me to send this, so I'll give it to Yamato-sensei just incase. Feel special, Sensei! Anyways, I heard that you were going to the Land of Snow. Or maybe you're already there? I don't know. But I guess that it's probably snowing out there, like it always is. Which kinda sucks because you don't get to play in it. You just freeze your butt off. Ew. Things here are pretty normal as can be. Baa-chan keeps giving me D-missions to save up for a house but the money is coming in pretty slow. In one of the missions, I had to save this old man's cat. It was pretty easy and I thought that was the end of it. But it turned out that once I left the house, the cat just ended up following me everywhere! I didn't even notice until Kiba came on his own mission to find the same cat. It just latched onto me like its life was going to end! I still have the claw marks. They hurt like shit! Spring is coming soon and the Blooming festival is under preparation. I was thinking when you come back we could go together or something because we have nothing to do. Sensei, do you think that Yukigakure would have festivals? I mean, there's so much snow. How do they walk around in it? But then they'd have really good foods. They wouldn't have to shave their ice for snow cones! They'd just take the snow around them and put it in a cone! But then, there'd be a lot of snow cone vendors and I think I'd get sick of them. I should stop writing now, I'm almost to the end of the page and I would have to pay for another piece of paper. So I'll stop here. I hope your mission went well. Come home soon. I miss you, sensei._

_Naruto Uzumaki_

As his eyes scrawled over the words of the dirty page, Kakashi failed to notice the blotchy press of the ink brush that smothered across the paper. Characters, kanji and hiragana alike splattered themselves across the page; some sentences didn't even bother to be straight anymore and instead ended in curves. The paper itself was in poor condition as fingerprints marked themselves across the letter and dirt stains scattered in addition to the faint dampness from the journey within Tenzo's pocket.

He dismissed the fact that it was barely readable and the copy-ninja, despite knowing various codes and secret handwriting, could faintly make out the characters that were laid across the page from the hand of the blonde genin. He lacked the perception and scrutiny of organization and cleanliness, forgetting that it didn't even bother with an envelope to make-up for its horrible appeal.

Kakashi missed it entirely because he read, re-read, and read again the few characters that were spread carefully, sloppily across the page.

_I miss you._

It was funny how words were so powerful in the tiniest of moments. Kakashi knew very well that they could change, save, or destroy a person. It just depended on the words. And these words—written by Naruto, himself—sought to simply comfort him in an hour of his need, whether Kakashi himself knew it or not. They had no life-changing task, no demand of greatness. Just a simple drabble from a young man who had nothing to do but to write to his sensei.

But they were cherished words, Kakashi thought as he smiled to himself. A spring of warmth flooded him, filling him to the tips of his toes, to the ends of his fingertips. To know that there was someone waiting for him, that _missed_ his presence, suddenly seemed to make the journey bearable. Was this the way Asuma felt when he came home from a mission? Was this the reason why they fought so hard for their village? This eager feeling was overwhelming. If the snowstorm were not as bad, Kakashi would've immediately packed and ran straight home. He never thought that he could relish in such a feeling with so much joy.

He had something to look forward to on his way back. Perhaps he would get Naruto a souvenir on their way back. He saw a shop filled with wooden trinkets—perhaps in the morning Kakashi would find something. The jounin wondered to himself the likes and dislikes of Uzumaki Naruto as he carefully folded the letter and turned to tuck it between the pages of his book.

* * *

><p>Tenzo checked the clock above the inn entrance for the twentieth time today. It wasn't unusual that senpai was late to their designated time of departure, but it didn't make it any less troublesome. He sighed as a slumped in his chair and laid his head in his hand. The crackle and spark of fire on wood served as his only muse of entertainment.<p>

A bowl of broth was set before him. Tenzo looked up and smiled thankfully at the innkeeper. She merely nodded.

"Your friend seems in better spirits today," she said "He set off a bit early. Said he needed to do some shopping."

Tenzo smirked. "Is that so? Perhaps a good night's sleep in a warm bed and good food was all he needed."

The innkeeper laughed, "It would seem so."

Tenzo merely looked away in amusement. In that moment the door chimed and Kakashi poked his head through the slim opening.

"Ah," he said, "There you are, Tenzo. I got lost coming back because all the roads were covered in that snowstorm. I suppose we should be heading home now. Pay the good woman and let's move."

"Hai, senpai," Tenzo rose. With his backpack already slung on his shoulder, he turned to pay the innkeeper, being sure to pay her a little extra as they always did. The innkeeper nodded and watched him go after his funny friend.

Children were quite peculiar nowadays.

* * *

><p>AN: Hi again! Mo here!

I've finally found my muse to finish this chapter. In all honesty, I had more that I had already written out, but then I felt that that direction was the wrong direction. So, I'm adding new chapters in-between and rewriting the chapters that I had already written out. I'm sorry for not updating periodically. I just can't do it. It's too hard. So, nope. Not going to even try. But I do plan on finishing this! That's a promise!

A main theme that I'm getting at with this series the simplicity of love. Love shouldn't have to mean kiss kiss, hug hug, and sex. It doesn't always have to be about intense or the complexity of passion. I like to think that love actually means that the action, no matter how small, that a person makes is noticeable and appreciated by their significant other. The idea that I had behind this chapter is a soldier's journey home. I mean, the a reason why he takes that journey is to find his destination right? That's what makes his journey meaningful. I think some rewrites are in order because I'm not sure that I portrayed that in this chapter well, but it's something for you!

I hope you like it! As always, send your love in the form of favorites, follows, and reviews.

Much thanks and hankypanks,

Mo.


	8. Philophobia

**Philophobia**

**_I am so afraid._**

The midnight air chills the room, and I find my skin frozen. My body is a prison; my back hunched, elbows on my knees. My bones start to ache from the chill, but I have no strength to shift. The wooden stool has suddenly become stone and metal, sinking into the carpet and me with it. My eyes, tired as they are, are wide open, like hooks have dug into my skin and have pried my eyelids apart. The warm color of Icha Icha Paradise lays idle on the carpet. The pages turn by themselves so I lose my place, but I don't mind reading it again tomorrow.

Naruto sleeps on the couch in front of me. His back presses against the sofa as his hands and feet dangle on the edge. He's tall enough so that the length of the couch is small for him, but when he curls like that, he suddenly becomes small and delicate. The hem of his black shirt that is three sizes too big for him crumples up against his stomach, revealing a smooth batch of skin that is sinful to the eyes of many.

The blood trapped within my body burns. Its heat numbs the coldness. My heart beats twice as fast to ease the scorch, but to no avail. It starts to feel numb too. Perhaps to the point where I can't feel it beating anymore. The heat is unbearable. Yet, my body is too frozen to move.

My eyes rake back and forth over Naruto's body. They don't know what to do; whether they want to caress him aimlessly or wrap him up in a protective shell, I can't tell anymore. My vision blurs. The dim lights are beginning to sting.

_I love him. Kami, I love him so much._

The Yukigakure amulet that I gave him hangs loosely on his neck, hidden poorly behind the edge of his collar. Naruto's always hiding it from me. I find my lips twitching a bit; he's never taken it off ever since I gave it to him.

_I'm not stupid. I know he likes me too._

Have you ever found yourself so famished, that your body starts to feel like it's consuming itself?

All I've ever imagined is how my fingers would tingle warmly when I touch his skin. I dream of blonde, blue, and orange colors. I shiver when I close my eyes, and I imagine the look on his face when I kiss him for the first time. The veins in my hand melt as I hold his hand in my dreams.

I want to give him everything. I want to know that he is the only one in the world without saying the words. I want to shower him with affection that I don't know, with love I've never felt. I want to wake up to the sight of the sun on the pillow next to mine, feel its warmth when I grab his waist and keep it there until I'm burnt to the bone.

_But I am a coward._

If I did those things…if I loved him the way I wanted to, maybe he would return those actions. Maybe he would smile and laugh if I told him I loved him. He would squeeze my hand tightly whenever we took the opportunity to hold each other. Maybe, one day, he would tell me—

_He loves me._

That is my greatest fear.

I feel myself recoil from this depraved desire. My fingers curl, my back hunches even more. It's so cold that I begin to tremble. The stool rattles beneath me. My neck aches from the angle but I can't tear my eyes away from Naruto. It's almost physically impossible for me to do so.

There have always been walls around me. They surround the people I meet, the people I see, and there are blank white walls around me. Sometimes they crack, some are missing bricks, but they never fall down.

The walls I've carefully placed around Naruto are tumbling down like dust.

If they were broken, I would be naked. Easy to attack. It would be child's play to strike me where I stood. It's too much—for both my enemies and I.

Believe me, I've tried to strike down the walls before. For Sensei, for Obito, for Rin, I came close to finally breaking them. But the moment I did, the people that I had ever cared about in this world were gone.

In time, Naruto will be gone.

I've never cared much about it. After all, death was a part of life. Never thought too deeply. I've accepted the fact that they are gone. I've learned my lessons. I've learned to keep my village, and my shinobi brothers and sisters, safe. I've learned to let go.

I love Naruto too much to let go.

I'm in love with Uzumaki Naruto, but I am afraid.

I'm afraid of the bright future we could have.

I'm afraid of the happiness it could bring me.

I'm afraid of all his smiles, his laughs, his touches, his kisses.

_I'm afraid of love._

Broken, ashamed, my heavy head finally hangs. I don't deserve such an amazing person, not with all the sin that I've committed, not with all the guilt I have. I should brush it off and ignore it. I should continue on with suffering alone as I always have.

How deep do I have to dig until I can shovel this away? How much longer do I have to rebuild and paint over the yellow, orange, blue, black streaks until my walls are white in solitude again?

_Kami, Naruto. Why did I have to love you?_

I don't know why, but the carpet becomes wet under my feet.

* * *

><p>AN note: Philophobia is the fear of being in love, or falling in love. This does tie in with the fear of intimacy.

As I was reviewing these chapters, I didn't realized that I was deleting this chapter. MAH BAD.


	9. Idiots

LeexSakura: if you don't like it, you can suck on my...pen that's bleeding ink all over itself. Or toothpaste. Either way, it's not gonna taste good. The first one might kill you...but then again, the second has a pretty good chance at getting you high? or was that mouth wash? i dunno.

* * *

><p><strong>Idiots…<strong>

**Sometimes, Sakura cursed Kami **for putting too many morons on this earth.

Such harsh words, one would say. But for this kunoichi, it was very much appropriate.

Well, for starters, she was dating a lovesick idiot. He went by the name of Rock Lee, which was a suitable name for the guy because he had the sensitivity of a damn boulder. Seriously…despite the fact that they had been dating for two years, he'd still embarrass the crap out of her by frequently professing his love and challenging any other man to impossible physical task if they came within a five-mile radius of her. Even after she made it a point to hold his hand every time they walked together, even when they always made time to go on a date at least two times a week—couldn't Lee get it?! And what was with his jumpsuits?! Would he _ever_ outgrow those?

The idiots around her didn't fair much better either. On better days, Sakura could go on for _hours_ about the moronic things that she had seen during her medical training under Tsunade-sama. Between pulling out shuriken from Iruka-sensei's students (who thought that somehow, making practice targets of their fellow classmates was a _brilliant _idea), undoing Kiba's paralysis (because he always wanted to show how _goddamn manly _he was by kissing Hinata in front of Neji), and mending to Naruto's burnt flesh (because he thought that he developed the next Konoha-signature-worthy justu, like he was some _freaking _"_awesome" _genius), it amazed her to no end to discover how dense people could be. She really had the Hokage to thank for opening her eyes. No wonder Tsunade wanted to pummel everyone to the ground.

Perhaps the best example of idiocy would be the closest people in her life: Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. The three of them knew each other better than any other shinobi (with a few exceptions) in Konoha. They had been together since she had been a genin. They supported each other when Sasuke was lost to them and rejoiced together when he returned. And to Sakura's aggravation, she knew them a lot better than they thought.

It was a bright day out. The sun was warm, the grass cool with the early morning dew despite it being the late afternoon already. The breeze blew a warm gust a wind their way. A perfect day for training.

Yet, Sakura couldn't get in the mood for it. Maybe she just hated perfect days like this. It seemed such a waste to spend such a day on training because it provided no challenge. Without the winds to pound at them or the mud to slow them down, Sakura realized that she could've spent such a rare occurrence doing other, _non-shinobi _activities, like shopping or going on a date with Lee. A sigh escaped Sakura as she leaned back to rest on the trunk of the tree that shaded her quite nicely from the bright sun. Perhaps, given that she hid herself well, she could avoid training and relax under this tree.

"Oi! Sakura," hollered Naruto from the open training field.

She flinched at the loud cry of her name, growling as she watched the blonde brute she called a teammate run up and plop annoyingly beside her. He panted heavily, leaning back to relish in the shade that he shared with Sakura.

"Why aren't you training?" he asked. "It's such a nice day!"

"Precisely why I'm _not_ training," the kunoichi growled, shifting so that her back was turned to Naruto. He merely smiled and shook his head.

"You missed some really great stuff, Sakura-chan. I finally got my new taijutsu move working. Kakashi-sensei pointed out that the ready stance was too vulnerable—my arms were too wide open, instead of gathering them closer to my body for quick jabs. But overall, he said that it was a good movement to use at close-range attacks. He also said that it would be easy to disable any weapons at hand—which I never really thought about. Can you believe it? He actually said it was good! I can't believe that Kakashi-sensei's actually training me for once, instead of Sasuke. Well actually, he's not really training me but still—"

"You've really fallen for him, haven't you Naruto?" Sakura inquired nonchalantly. There, that ought to shut him up. "I mean, you never gushed Kakashi-sensei this much before. You might as well confess your love for sensei for the whole village to hear."

Sakura, being quite done with the rambling, smirked to herself and closed her eyes. She waited for her friend to utterly spout nonsense. He'd probably deny it furiously, even though _he knew _that _she knew_ about his crush on Kakashi-sensei. Aside from being an obvious idiot, Sakura knew Naruto long enough to know whom he liked, and she used this information to her advantage every chance she got. It was, after all, her revenge for all those years of Naruto publicly humiliating her in front of Sasuke.

But when she didn't hear the loud, obnoxious denial, Sakura knew something was wrong.

"Naruto?" She quietly called out but again was met without any response from the blonde boy. When she turned around, Sakura found Naruto picking at the grass. He stared hard at the ground, his blue eyes dark as if the world around him had just died and he was the only one left in it—a stark contrast to the cheery demeanor he greeted her with.

_Ah dammit, she hit a nerve. Smart move, Sakura the Big Mouth._

"Naruto?" Sakura reached out to place a hand on his shoulder "Hey…I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"I think you might be right."

Naruto lifted his head to looked at Sakura and she could see the red rims around his blue irises as he struggled to hold back tears.

Sakura, having stared at the blonde for a while now, squeezed his shoulder. She didn't know whether if he would take it as in a sign of sympathy or pity, but there wasn't much that she could do when he was like this. "Naru—"

"_I know_," Naruto suddenly exclaimed and quickly wiped his eyes. Sakura barely flinched, but there was an audibly click of her teeth. He turned to look at Sakura. They both met each other eye to eye before he closed them, breaking the contact.

"I know," he tried again—this time calmer, making sure that his breathing was even before he continued: "I know that he's never going to return my feelings. He's my teacher. I'm his student. He's always going to see me as that tiny, loud, obnoxious kid that was always going on about being 'Hokage' or 'defeating Sasuke.' I'll always be the one shinobi—a _genin_ shinobi—who always bugged him about eating ramen or training, or the stupid one that wanted to learn jutsu way beyond his level. He'll never see me different—not the way that I see him. He's one of Konoha's greatest. And me…I'm the jinchuuriki whose demon decimated half of Konoha."

"Naruto, you can't talk about yourself like that!" Sakura cried, giving half a mind to knock his head into the tree. "Are you even listening to yourself? Do you realize—"

"But, Sakura, look at him! He's Hatake Kakashi, Konoha's finest ninja, the Copy-Cat Ninja. I bet he has marriage offers, people melting at his feet—I bet that if he wanted, he could have anyone! He's out of my league. I'm just some weirdo who thinks that he'll be Hokage tomorrow if he yells it loud enough. He probably sees that. He can't—he won't feel the same way that I do."

Sakura sighed. Naruto, though he was triumphant in making her speechless, he hung his head once again. Sakura glared at his unusually still figure. Was there any way to talk a friend out of unrequited love? Especially if they were stupid enough to think that it was hopeless without giving it a chance?

She let go of the grip that she had on his shoulder. Bringing her knees to her body like Naruto, Sakura began to pluck at the grass beneath her fingers.

"Do you know why I started to date Lee? Even though I rejected him for nine months?" Sakura asked.

Naruto turned to face her with a look of confusion furrowed in his eyebrows and a frown etched on his lips. "No. It was always fishy…I'm so much more hotter than Lee, and yet you would always hit me every time I tried to ask you out."

"Shut up!" Sakura punched him in the shoulder, smiling as that earned a small chuckle from Naruto, who leaned away as her fist roughly grazed his skin.

Once that was done and over with, they returned to their positions with silence hung over them until Sakura started again, "I was crazy in love with Sasuke at the time. Maybe it was some hormones speaking, or—I don't know—puberty, but more than I was infatuated with him, I cared for him.

Naruto gave up his smile for a sad frown. Talking about Sasuke was always hard to talk about in their team. It was obvious to any keen observer that Sasuke's departure and betrayal left a huge hole. Even if he was back, it was difficult to accept it, to welcome him with open arms especially after all the things that he had done. Even now, they weren't sure if he would go back to the dark place where they couldn't reach him.

"And when Sasuke left…it was like he sort of…died. And then that whole thing with Lee came about. _Kami_, was he every annoying. And during that time…during that time, I realized that I wasn't going to live forever in this world. Lee wasn't going to live forever in this world. At any moment, we could be gone. Our hearts could change. I—just like Sasuke—have the ability to lose myself and become a different person, a darker person, than I am right now in this very moment. I could die tomorrow without even knowing that today would be my last."

She closed her eyes and shook the fear off of her. Naruto inched closer, and it was his turn to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Naruto, we're ninja: shinobi who can die at any given second, and no one will know. We can die alone without every knowing love. And you know what? That's what scares me the most. I knew that when I first started liking Lee that I had to treasure him the most, because if I die, I can die knowing that I loved someone who loved me. Isn't that who we're fighting for, anyways? The ones we love? Isn't that part of the reason why we signed up for this mess?"

Naruto, who was gaping wide at Sakura, looked away the moment she looked up to meet his eyes again. "Sakura, I—"

"Naruto, I know that it's scary feeling this way for Kakashi. I can't tell you whether or not he'll accept you and see you more than you think he does now. But—Naruto—one day, Kakashi might not even be alive anymore. You're right when you said that he's one of Konoha's finest…but that just means that he's going on missions that put his life at an even greater risk than most shinobi. Do you really want to face him at his funeral and regret all that you kept from him just because you were afraid that he would reject you?"

"I—"

"We only have today, Naruto. For a shinobi, today is another day to live, another chance at life, love, and happiness. Are you really going to just let that slip by you?"

Again, Naruto gaped at her. Flapping his mouth trying to find the words, but she knew that it was no use. Instead, she used that opportunity to get on her knees, then wrap her arms around her teammate's neck to pull him into an awkward, but as tight as a hug that she could muster.

"Just tell him," she said softly, smiling as Naruto placed an unsure hand on her back "If you tell him then you can't say that you regret keeping it from him."

After a few seconds, she pulled away from him. Although, the blonde oaf wasn't crying, his eyes did gleam a glossy blue with a small, hopeful smile on his face.

'_Thanks,'_ Naruto whispered. Sakura nodded.

They both stayed within arms length of each other before Sakura roughly pushed him away, grumbling about how she was going to kill herself for given a corny speech…Naruto, the big idiot, merely threw back his head and laughed. He began to crawl towards her in another attempt for another hug, only to be pushed away by her fist to his forehead, yelling obscenities at him for being a moronic carrot for even thinking that he could get another hug out of her.

In the middle of their struggle, Naruto turned towards the meadow. Sakura followed his gaze to see Lee and Kakashi-sensei strolling up to them. The two teammates both stood to greet them. Lee bounced over to Sakura, trying to envelope her in a crushing embrace while she pushed his head down in loud annoyance. However, she begrudgingly let him kiss her cheek in their usual greeting. Kakashi stopped in front of them shortly after Lee, his hands in his pocket instead of holding his usual porn booklet.

"Neh," Kakashi drawled, "I don't remember giving you two a break from training."

"But, Sensei~" Naruto whined, "We trained all morning. It's already two o'clock: a perfect time to eat ramen! Can we go?"

Kakashi paused for a mere second before answering, "Alright. Seems like too nice of a day to spend all of it on training. Ichi-raku's?"

"Yes!" came the jubilant, already distant shout from the boy as he hopped over to the road towards the familiar direction.

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head, looking fondly over at Naruto in a way that made Sakura raise her eyebrows. He turned over to Sakura and Lee, "I assume that you two have other plans?"

"Yes, sensei!" Lee excitedly exclaimed "We are going on our date!"

Kakashi nodded, "I'll see you two around then."

Sakura watched as he followed Naruto down the path. The boy waited for him by the bridge that served as their usual meeting place for their team missions. She observed how closely they walked together, enough to brush shoulders. Interestingly enough, Kakashi seemed engaged in whatever Naruto was enthusiastically spouting instead of pulling out his book to read.

"Sakura," Lee laced his hand around hers, "What are you looking at?"

Dazed, she looked at Lee and back to the faint outlines of her two teammates in the distance. Finally, she smiled and kissed Lee on the cheek, something she _rarely _ever did.

"Nothing," she giggled at Lee's furious blush.

"Yes! Well!" Lee chirped happily, "Let us march on to the place where we shall spend our precious time together! Our eternal youth runs strong, as Gai-sensei would say!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, but allowed Lee to pull her along in the direction towards town. She threw her head back and laughed. She knew that Naruto would be alright—that is, if Kakashi would stop pretending to be an idiot.

How she lovingly hated these morons. Not one day—no matter how many times she asked Kami why He made them so dimwitted—would she ask Kami to take them back.

* * *

><p>Guess who's back!<p>

Jon Snow.

Heh.

Okay, I'll admit, my humor has gone stale over the last few months [uh, I guess the above would constitute as spoiler alert. But, let's be real here, for those of you watch the show or are getting to that season HAD to have seen it somewhere on the internet. I'm not even done with catching up with GoT but I already know this...sorry, but not sorry.]. But I wanted to apologize for all the weirdness and absence (especially the absence).

Weirdness: I want explain that in the previous chapter, I was at this weird point where I didn't know myself but then I didn't know how to vent...yada yada, etc. anguish, angst, corny confession, dramatic tears [...ew]. I deleted the A/N that was about an essay-long sob story that I REALLY didn't need... [which led to accidentally deletion of the chapter in the process, which I had to reload...which was a total bummer]. But I'm okay now-great, actually. It's all good in da hood bruh [I need to stop this...]

Absence: Okay, shit got real. Had to deal with some schooling issues, some life issues, some I-just-want-to-have-some-fun-not-doing-anything issues, and I'm-just-too-fucking-lazy-ugh issues. But I finally got inspired to do this chapter.

Yeah, yeah, progress has been coming slow. You're just gonna have to deal. Sorry [there, I said it].

But anyways! Here is the chapter on Sakura's POV? so to speak? I know a lot of people bash on Sakura because she's kind of annoying. But I think that she can break out some pretty real truths out there you know? No matter how much of a bitch a person can be, they're still a person who's just rolling their own way. I hope I made her likable enough...

Additionally, I hope I made this chapter quality enough to have you forgive me for being MIA for the last few months [okay...it's been almost a year...I'm stupid. HEH.]. And I KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN STALLING FOR SOME TIME NOW with all the juicy details of how Naruto and Kakashi get together. But c'mon guys, Rome wasn't built in a day [okay, who am I kidding? It's been almost two-three years now; BUT ROME STILL WASN'T COMPLETELY BUILT IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME].

Just know that I'm getting there. You'll have your heart-crushing, soul-bearing, thrash-around-waving-your-arms-around-like-a-squealing-idiot moment soon, okay? [...Is that just me who gets that way?...okay.]

[P.S. I've had a change of personality while I was away. So if I've become mildly sarcastic, I apologize...and don't take it the wrong way.]

I don't know when I'll have another chapter because I'm currently swamped in procrastinated work that I should REALLY, REALLY, REAAAAAALLLLLY be doing right now. Let us pray that it'll be soon.

I'll see all you lovelies in the next chapter!

Keep readin', keep reviewin', keep doing all that crazy shit.

I'm out, [I REALLY need to stop...]

Mo


	10. Regrets - Part 1

**Regrets – Part 1**

_**Naruto, I need you **__to come get Kakashi_.

Naruto has never felt his legs burn so much from running. He's ran plenty of times: missions, training, errands-it's nothing new.

_It's about Kakashi's latest mission. Things didn't go the way that we had hoped. Got messy. Kakashi had to pay the consequences._

Perhaps it's the panic that seeps through his veins that makes it that way. Needle-like coldness pricks at his skin even when he's running so fiercely, as fear is nipping at his heels. There's a soft _crunch _from his hand where his fingers clutch at the parchment from Tsunade-sama.

_He's in the hospital right now. I'm personally seeing to it that he's being stabilized._

The sun that flies before Naruto is steadily sinking. The darkening of the blue sky to a deep orange hue makes him run faster. The shadows on the building stretch around him. Suddenly, Naruto is surrounded by dark giants whose hands slowly curl around him. But he doesn't stop-he _can't._

_But Naruto, it's bad. We're losing him. He asked for you the moment we got to him._

Naruto fears that if he can't outrace the sinking sun...

_Hurry._

He's able to dash through the opening automatic doors of the hospital, just before the sun touches the horizon. The piercing scent of alcohol that attempts to masks the iron stench of blood washes over him and, despite the odd smell, Naruto almost feels relieved. But he can't slow down. Not yet.

Naruto nearly collides into the counter as he barks out, "Where is he?"

Lucky for him, the nurses at the register are prepared. The Hokage gave them specific instructions. It also helps that some of them are used to the way the teen makes his presence known. Automatically, one of the nurses shouts out the floor that Kakashi is currently in. Before the nurse can finish explaining that the shinobi is still under emergency care, Naruto is already turning the corner to the ER.

He doesn't know how long that hallway is to the ER. Naruto has no idea when time has slowed down. He can't tell if he's running to Kakashi or from the fear. Everything echoes, blurs, and disappears. Everything stops.

_'...one day, Kakashi might not even be alive anymore.'_

_'We only have today.'_

One chance at life. One chance at love, life and happiness. _One chance-_

_"-_Naruto!"

Naruto feels himself being pulled back. He turns to see Sakura, face bloodied with _not her blood. _Her hand on his arm is warm from healing chakra and it almost ripples out a calming sensation throughout Naruto's body. But he can't help but look at her other hand, the one that's dripping in red and leaving a small bloody puddle on the floor. But he wastes no time.

**"**_Sakura,_" Naruto cries, and said girl cries out when he shakes her shoulders, "Where is he? Where's Kakashi?"

"Naruto, get off." She swats away his hands, not because of his panicked greeting, but rather because of the possibility of blood contamination. "And calm down."

"Is he okay? How bad is it? _Where is he?_"

"He's okay. For now." Sakura says in a practiced tone, "he's still in surgery."

"Can I see him?"

At this, Sakura pauses. Naruto doesn't say anything, but he doesn't hesitate to squeeze her shoulders again. He gives out a silent plea because he knows that she is to follow protocol. She will send him to the nearest waiting room, where he will slump down into a chair, bite his nails, and rock back and forth while praying to a kami who might not listen to him to save Kakashi one more time. He can't do the waiting. Not now. Not when he's found someone to go home to. He can't wait for Tsunade baa-chan to walk out of the ICU, bone-tired, to tell him the news that he dreads so.

"Wait here," she sighs, giving in, "I'm going to wash this blood off. And then I'll take you to see Kakashi-sensei." Naruto, who has calmed down thanks to the residue of healing chakra and his trust in Sakura's words, nods and watches as she turns to the nearest facility.

A door that lies opposite to the entrance of the waiting area leads to large meeting room. Naruto can only assume that is a meeting room because there are chairs that line up neatly in a three rows of five in the center. The white walls are washed clean, completely free of color or life. Naruto shivers as a rush of cold ventilated air sweeps past his head. It isn't until Sakura closes the door that he notices that the chairs face a glass window. He would've thought that it was just a black wall if not for the light that illuminates beneath.

The quiet sound of metal echoes through the speakers around him as he inches closer to the glass. Tsunade sounds calm and firm as she instructs the nurses around her while maintaining her focus on the body beneath the white sheet. Whether or not she notices the boy that watches through the glass above her with wide blue eyes, she doesn't make it known.

"I'm going to make an incision at the small intestine," her voice, though behind a blue surgical face mask, is clear and concise "Yuna, insert the endoscope into the incision to find any remnants of the dark chakra. Eradicate it with small pulses from the healing chakra insertion tool that we used on the core chakra tumor. In the mean time, Hiroto will take over for me and pull out the rest of the remaining shrapnel. The patient is stable for now, but if he so much as twitches it might pull him into cardiac arrest—so let's be careful."

"Yes, Tsunade-hime."

It is finally at the moment that Tsunade looks up and acknowledges the two shinobi watching through the glass above her. Naruto searches her face, looking for something that he can read to determine Kakashi's current condition but the woman's face is made of stone. Tsunade walks out of the operation room, discarding the bloodied surgical gloves and mask on the way.

From the corner of his eye, Sakura turns to the opening door to bow to the Hokage. Naruto, however, remains face-pressed to the glass. Tsunade acknowledges Sakura with a nod, walking past her to slump down into one of the chairs behind Naruto.

"Before you start sniffling, Kakashi is going to be okay," she says "Physcially."

"What do you mean, 'physically'?" Sakura says for him "You said that he was stable!"

"Two days ago, he was sent on a three-team A-class mission to the River country capital. It was an assassination. The details are classified, but I will tell you that they were successful. However, we were unaware that the target had powerful allies. On the way back home, Kakashi and his team were ambushed by Kusagakure shinobi. Kakashi, that idiot, was hit by a kunai that was charged with black chakra while trying to protect an injured teammate."

"Tsunade-hime," Sakura interjects, "Black? Chakra?"

"We've only just recently discovered this method of attack last month. It's sort of like a poison. If properly injected into the victim via penetration of the skin, it taints the victim's chakra, which then develops a cancerous behavior. The tainted chakra will gather around the wound and victim unintentionally uses all his chakra to create a tumor. Chakra then becomes unstable and all jutsus will either backfire or cease to perform at all. Without chakra being able to function normally, the victim also loses all normal bodily functions and eventually dies from the lack of functionality in the brain. It's a rapid moving disease—our first case died within an hour of treatment. Kakashi was hit near his lung—which could have been very deadly.

"Luckily, Kakashi had an idea of what was happening to him and conserved all his chakra on the way here. It slowed the progression of the tumor somewhat. But he started to hallucinate as a result of concentrated black chakra that failed to dissolve with his own. He electrocuted half of my working staff, took out a wall, and tried to kill me with a half-assed chidori."

Tsunade slouches further into the seat and sighs loudly, "He kept calling for you, Naruto. Asked where you were—where we took you. Kakashi threatened to kill us if he didn't see you soon. That's why I summoned you here. Even though we were successful in taking out the tumor, we still don't know after effects. If you're there when he wakes up, he'll have a lower chance of hurting himself and others. After that, I'm going to pummel him into a tree and—Naruto? Did you hear what just I said?"

Honestly, Naruto hasn't listened to her from the beginning. He doesn't know about this 'black chakra tumor' jargon—even though he should. But Naruto just can't seem to focus on her words as it becomes muted behind his head, replaced with the thunderous rhythm of the heart scanner that screams to him that his Kakashi has been spared death one more time.

_He won't leave Kakashi's side_, Naruto promises himself. _He can't._ Because he only has one chance to tell the jounin how much he means to him, how scared that he was for him, how much…how much he regrets not telling him sooner —that Naruto might even love him . There's a tight squeeze at the center of his chest and Naruto is not sure if that is his heart or the grip of his hand there trying to steady it.

_One chance. He only has one chance._

* * *

><p>Hello, hello<p>

Mo here. Late post. Not the best...pretty cliche scenario, if you ask me. HEH.

But I was in a mood for drama and a bit of bullshit science. So I'm keeping it. Bite me.

If this leaves you unsatisfied-thanks for being so patient (heartz~)! And trust me: there's more. That's why it's a 'Part One'.

This is all that my brain can muster up for now (poor brain). Anyways, stay tuned for the next installment!

Much thanks,

Mo


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